My Grandma…

They call mother’s mother Grandmother in English….but I call her Nanima …so everybody who is reading this will know now that “Nanima” means “MY Grandma”.

My Nanima resembles her name “SurajDevi”….she is the brightest star in constellation of my life…she is somebody whom I love deeply and look upon as a source of inspiration. Today I wish to write down about her. As I write this, I remember her beautiful smile, her deep wise eyes, her caressing hands….

Nanima was born in a small village called ‘Bhatkuli’ in the region of Vidarbha. Fate hit her hard soon after birth. She lost her mother in a week’s duration after she was born. Nanima could never see her mother long enough to even remember her mother’s face, her mother’s touch…she grew up without her mother with her elder sister. Her father remarried and they became a family of two daughters and seven brothers. Nanima grew up in miserable conditions of extreme poverty and lack of necessities of life. Living in a cramped room with a single mattress in the house for their father, the same soap for bathing and washing hair, the days were bleak. Nanima says that those days taught her how to live happily even in difficult situations...that she learnt how important and precious hard-earned money is. She says that those days shaped her to prepare for the struggles that come in life.

But slowly their condition improved. But destiny was still not in her favor. Her schooling was stopped when she was in 4^th standard due to the restrictions on girls in society in that period even though she was a bright student. She stayed at home and took care of household chores. At the young age of 9 years, she used to make meals for a family of 11 family members and guests. She learnt the art of embroidery from her neighboring aunties in return of helping them out in their household chores. Her teenage made her a beauty to look at. She was soon married at the tender age of 16 to my Nanaji (Grandpa), a very handsome and able young man of his times….and she became Mrs. SurajDevi Hanumandas Kakani. And like for every girl in this country, that was a huge turning point in her life. She became the younger daughter-in-law of the prestigious Kakani Family who had a big mansion and a grand family. Kakani Family was a joint family like all other prestigious Marwari families and my Nanima worked and served all elders to become one of the mot loved (read ‘accepted’) daughter-in-law by her dedication towards all her family members, the love she bestowed on all the younger siblings of Nanaji, following all the traditions of her family (which included not speaking to elders, keeping a veil over her face every time, being sweet, docile and disciplined). She woke up at 4 in the morning, milked cows, prepared tea for elders ,hot milk for the younger ones, swept the house, cleaned it well, the ‘pooja’ ceremony, woke up everybody on their respective times, packed tiffins for so many children who went to school, breakfast for all elders, kept clothes washed and ironed for everybody, medicines of her father-in-law in place, his warm water ready, then made lunch for entire family and served everyone hot, then took care of so many guests who would visit their mansion ,then dinner for everybody , late night chores in the kitchen, go to sleep well after 11 pm….and still have her enchanting smile on her face all the time….. She was a miracle woman…

My Nanima proved to be a wonderful wife to Nanaji….Nanaji recalls that his wife always supported him in all that he did, provided him nutrition for body, soul and heart. And she continues to be so more even now….she stood by him when there were ups and downs in his business…maintained all household chores with her savings relieving her husband of many worries, taking care of his health, house and happiness more than she ever took care of herself.

She was an ideal daughter-in-law. She served her ailing mother- in-law for long years when she had become so weak that she couldn’t even get up for even the basic chores of humans. She was a selfless and dedicated nurse to her mother-in-law.

Her life was blessed with her first child, Vandana who is my mother….then came Rajashri and 2 years later, she had twins-she named them Deepak and Jyoti. Thus she has 3 daughters and 1 son. My mother is the eldest of them all. She was an exemplary mother to all her kids. She never differentiated between her daughters and son. She encouraged them to study hard... Her daughters learned the fine art of cooking and embroidery from their mother. She taught them values of honesty, love, dedication, strength to fight for what is right, humility, respect for elders, respect for traditions of Marwari culture and equality of all religions. She was a strict disciplinarian in terms of rules that had to be followed in the house. Humble speech, coming home in time, ideal friends, knowing the difference between right and wrong and strong will power. Under her guidance and support, all her children went on to become graduates which was very rare in those times. My mother is a science graduate, my mum’s sisters are doctor and a teacher respectively and my mum’s brother is a lawyer. In tune to those times, even my mother was married at the young age of 21. Even her siblings were married at around the same age.

Her teachings to her daughters have made them wonderful wives and daughters-in-law in their respective families in which my Nanima is always appreciated as an ideal woman. My mother’s best friend is her mother and she draws inspiration from her mother and so, she is a wonderful mother.

N me, I m her eldest granddaughter and (I know that) I hold a very important and loved place in her life. My mother could not be with me when I was very young due to unavoidable problems. So she left me at Nanima’s place. My Nanima named me “Ranu”…Practically, Nanima has raised me. I remember seeing her face the first thing on waking up. She woke me up gingerly, caressed me with her hands, and gave me hot milk in the ‘special’ mug she had brought for her granddaughter. She brought me many toys-small and large to play with. I used to play in the kitchen beside her. She used to talk to me the whole day. She answered all my questions of ‘why is the sky blue, Nanima’, ‘who is God, Nanima?’ and all such ‘whys’ , ‘whats’ and ‘hows’. I was the apple of her eye. She was the 1^st person to see me crawl…then taking my first steps…they say I was her 5^th child…;) my masis and mamaji loved me a lot too…they took care of me all the time…at age 2, I caught a rare disease in which the whole body develops swellings… in which blood accumulates and swells become huge. Then they burst and blood in body goes on diminishing at an astounding rate. It’s a disease in which out of a million, 1 kid survives. My Nanima, Nanaji, my parents were deeply devastated. Everybody prayed fervently to God. My Nanima was the only 1 who had the courage to wipe my red blood with cotton every day. No doctor could help my condition. I was almost on the brink of death when she fought with destiny to save me. God must have been defeated by her when he sent a doctor to us who could finally cure me.

As I gradually grew up, she taught me small games. She n Nanaji played with me. They told me wonderful stories at bedtime. She taught me to respect elders and all the customs of a proper Marwari girl. She developed in me a curious inquisition about everything. I used to ask Nanima and Nanaji innumerable questions and they patiently answered my questions. They never scolded me for asking all sorts of questions. At school, I loved everything …I topped in my classes. My grandparents adored me. They used to bring a special sweet box…Nanima would prepare my favorite dish….they made me feel special and so much loved all the time…I would sit with Nanaji in his shop and recite tables there…Nanaji would teach me Math and Science there..Nanima took my Hindi and Marathi lessons…they brought me my own blackboard and chalk pieces…I lived with them 4 days a week….the remaining with my parents...(we lived in the same city)I was always loved and caressed by Nanima n Nanaji, I must be the luckiest granddaughter ever…..

Nanima taught me how to cook…I knew how to prepare vegetables at the age of 9. And dear Nanaji would eat them and praise my “skills”…I don’t know how their store of love never vanquished. Nanima brought me ear rings, she brought me sandals, and she bought me so many things. She encouraged me to do all that I loved…she hosted my birthday parties…I used to eat lunch when she fed me with her hands…we watched ‘Mowgli’ together. She knew all my friends…she knew the things I was afraid of…she protected me when mom would get unreasonably angry with me…even Nanaji would never let Mum scold me… they always said that all that a child needs is love...teach her lovingly and she will learn…I was always their ‘special’ child… later on, they had other grandchildren, my siblings and cousins…but I was the most ‘loved’ one…

Years passed gradually…whenever I topped in my exams, Nanima and Nanaji were the happiest people on Earth. They would never get tired of telling everybody how lovely and intelligent ( J) their granddaughter was…In times of sadness and dilemmas, I could always cry in my Nanima’s lap…she had the magical power to make me happy...she would take me with her in her own temple and tell me to trust God…and she held me tight in her hug..N I felt safe from everything…she is a symbol of safety and security to me.

She supported me whole heartedly when I wished to study out of my hometown…she even convinced my father who was a bit apprehensive of it. Its 3 years now that I am away from home, I miss Nanima and Nanaji the most. They call me each Sunday to ask me how I am...they always know when my exams are due and when my health is not very fine…whenever I visit home, I love to be with them. Nanima is a wonderful grandmother to all her grandchildren and I suppose I am the luckiest oneJ.

When Nanaji got a paralysis attack in 2003 at the age of, everyone was devastated. She stood bravely in those times with Nanaji and took complete care of him. The attack being very powerful left my Nanaji disabled. The steady flow of income reduced to nothing. Nanima didn’t lose her courage. She braved those bleak and difficult days, unwavering and strong willed. She herself sold some of their legitimate property, learnt to manage the economic resources and supported my Nanaji who was emotionally devastated. She is an epitome of courage. She believed in goodness of life and trusted God. Today she is independent and supports her husband perfectly. She has proved that a woman is a source of unending strength. She is the perfect wife... been with Nanaji in all phases ever smiling...Even today, she welcomes all her relatives, children and grandchildren with open arms and a free heart and serves everybody selflessly. She lights up lamps with enthusiasm in Diwali every year. Her zeal and passion towards life can put a million teenage girls behind. My Nanima belongs to the old generation bit she is ever keen to learn new things. Recently, when we gifted her a mobile, she made me teach all the basic features on the very day itself. She is always keen about my progress in studies, about new things that I keep learning. She loves to read the newspaper and in touch with all that is happening in world. I plan to teach her how to operate a computer this time I go home.

My Nanima could not get the opportunity to complete her studies. But she is more skilled than an MBA in finance in managing economics when life forced her to learn those in her late phase of life, she is more talented than an engineer because she has managed her household so well for the past ----years of her married life, she is our household doctor..knows all her ayurvedic concoctions well…she is more efficient than 5 event managers put together. My Nanima is incredible…there is no one in this world like her.

Nanima, I truly respect you for all that you are…

I might not have said it but…

I love you so much… I must be the luckiest granddaughter ever….